Darkling by Rice K.M

Author:Rice, K.M. [Rice, K.M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: K.M. Rice
Published: 2013-11-08T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

I force myself to look away from his profile. My heart is beating as if I’d just run. I’m not like her. I can’t be. But I am. He really is the most handsome man I have ever seen. I was too focused on the task at hand before to have paid much attention to my own thoughts, but like Victoria, one look into those mischievously vulnerable eyes and I was lost.

Closing my eyes, I am filled with disgust. I could never become so drunk on him as Victoria had, could I? So wound up in my passion and lust that I forced him to remain with me against his will? That I hurt him just to be with him?

I’m yanked out of my mind as he pulls my hand up to his chest and envelops it in both of his, hugging it. I can feel his heart slowly beating. His heart that still belongs to her. The woman who is doing exactly what she said she would – trapping him inside of her to keep forever.

My guts wrench and for a moment I worry I’ll be sick. Of all my thoughts and theories about the corpse, I never once thought that we could be similar.

Tristan’s chest rises and falls beneath my hand locked in his. I’m afraid to look at him. Afraid he’ll cast some spell on me. Afraid I’ll cast some spell on myself. Afraid my wanting of him will be my failure. He is still her pawn. He is still a victim that I need to protect. A spirit that needs my help as a Listener. A man who needs my help as another human being. And she is an abomination.

I think of how ill she made herself with her love for him. So lovesick that she couldn’t even rouse herself to enjoy him, even when he was at her side. Tristan had considered her unbalanced, but he too was blinded by his affection for her. Victoria was more than unbalanced, as is evidenced by what her spirit has become. She was unhinged.

I’ve been around damaged people before. Their behavior is so drastic and confusing that their families become exhausted caring for them. Though he may not have understood it when she was alive, that’s what Victoria was. Even then she was sucking away his life and energy. Maybe she couldn’t help it in life, but she can now. And she hasn’t changed.

Such people disgust me. I should have more sympathy for the unbalanced, but I don’t. Maybe because I worry I am one myself. I didn’t used to be. But ever since I lost my sister, I’ve been behaving as if I don’t have anything to lose. I’ve been such a fool. Of course I still have something to lose. I have everything to lose, least of all being my life.

I really am unbalanced. Why else would I volunteer to be sacrificed?

I told myself I did it because I’d heard whispers in the woods and thought I could fix things.

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